The Grandest of Openings!
Preparations are under way for our Grand Opening Ceremony on Sept 24, 2011!!!
Notice: Heads of State, Dignitaries, Cosmonauts, French Super-Models, time travelers and residents of St. Louis city and those that wish they lived in the city, dogs, cats, spider monkeys and giraffes, bikes and hover-craft owners, children of all ages, all former members of the band Quiet Riot and Insane Clowne Posse. if you have a heart beat and like craft beer you are invited. If you don’t like craft beer don’t feel left out, you are still invited so we can get you to like craft beer. By force if we have to. Please read below.
We are about to embark together on a grand journey of immense proportions and this notice is being sent so one day you don’t have to use those sad god forsaken words, “I wish I had been there.”
On September 24 in the year 2011, a grand event is happening which begins in Tower Grove Park at the corner of Arsenal and Oak Hill. At 12 noon (No later) many wise people from near (city residents) and far away lands (places like St. Charles and O’Fallon) will gather with a common purpose. They will be engaged in the most rightful and prestigious ceremony involving one said Brewery. This said brewery known to all as The Civil LIfe Brewing Company will officially become available on earth on this said day by said people saying things. Things like, “I said person state I am Civil, my liver is Civil and I am freaking glad I made it to this Ceremony.”
I have been telling people we built the brewery the way they used to build breweries and that we will open the brewery the way they used to open breweries in Tower Grove. When in fact, I have no idea how anyone used to open a brewery and I also found we are the first ever Tower Grove brewery but soon all breweries will open this way. Unless it rains, then they will probably just turn on the lights and open the doors.
So at 12 noon on the 24th of September you may be someplace in this wide world but there is only one place you want to be. Locked arm in arm in a massive display of local unity in which crowds of well over 30 people are expected to take to the street that gave this Southern part of Tower grove it’s name. We will walk together, footstep by footstep, with dogs and children of all ages from the park through the neighborhood down Oak Hill to Tholozan. At Tholozan we will do the noblest of things and turn right to head up a short hill for the final walk down Holt Street. Thousands will gather (at least 38 people at this point ) to watch this grand parade turn the final corner and march down a street that until that day hardly anyone except its great residents knew existed. But from now on will be known as the street on which the Civil Life’s grand opening took place.
We will turn Left at 3714 Holt and officially deem the bar open to the public even though we have been open for just over a week already.
Members participating in this grand event will then partake in an old fashioned shindig. Expect to see cats and dogs dancing with each other, 90 year olds break dancing without breaking anything and 22 year olds acting civilized at a Brewery. You will shocked to see that in the right setting at the right brewery everyone can get along. People will do the most civilized of actions by buying beers for people they don’t even know.
And when the dust settles, the crowds have gone home and the last mug has been washed. I’ll grab the broom, sweep the floors, mop behind the bar and get ready to welcome you back as you make the Civil Life an essential part of your life. Or I will just wallow in the pity of paying for the party no one showed up to. Either way, I will have some really tasty American Brown beer and life won’t be so bad.
Cheers to you!
EMAIL ME IF YOU CAN ATTEND SO WE CAN PLAN FOR YOU! IF YOU FORGET JUST COME ON BY!
Hello earthlings. I have been sent here to open a brewery. I hope you have time over the next year to check in from time to time and see our progress (or lack there of at times).
Morning beer delivery at Tynan’s Bridge House Bar in Kilkenny, Ireland.